Category: Stress

E-motion: A Kinder Gentler Scarsdale

9/17/2012

http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-a-kinder-gentler-scarsdale

I drive up and down the Ardsley Road hill to the train station often. I walk up and down this hill often too. Driving the hill is simple. Walking the hill is never simple. If you haven’t walked it, perhaps you don’t realize there is a sidewalk on only one side—and the sidewalk switches over to the other side of the road part way down the hill. Don’t ask me why they built it that way.   Ask the planners who designed it. In fact, while you’re at it, ask them why they made the hill so steep too!

What this means is that everyone who walks the hill, whether they are a child, a teen, an elderly person, or even a disabled person, has to cross the road against two lanes of traffic, even if they don’t want to end up on the other side. There is a crosswalk. No signal lights, but there is a well-marked crosswalk. And, there is a sign warning drivers of the crosswalk, more than one in fact. They’re bright yellow. There’s even a sign reminding drivers it is a state law to yield for pedestrians in the crosswalk.

But, do most drivers stop? Nope. They simply don’t. Not here. We seem to have developed a culture in the Scarsdale that says, “Pedestrians, you are on your own. Only people in cars matter.”

What’s with that kind of attitude and disregard for simple kindness, to say nothing of following the state law?

I was surprised by how people drive here when I moved to Scarsdale three years ago. There’s a pervasive style a friend of mine called “elbows out”. As in; watch out, get out of my way, don’t make me wait, I want to go first; basically, the attitude, “I matter the most” prevails. That “elbows out” stuff shows up in other ways too, but it is most obvious on the streets.

Heading up the hill in my car earlier this week, I watched a jogger on the other side waiting patiently for an opening to cross. She got one, started across cautiously, then had to race back to the curb when a car actually sped up and zoomed over the crosswalk, narrowly missing the jogger.   So, here’s what I did. I stopped. I sat there, waiting in my lane, the second one she would need to cross, for her to get another opening on her side. She finally did and crossed both lanes safely. She waved at me with a big smile three times, she was so grateful. Grateful because I obeyed the law. And, here’s what happened behind me.   Can you guess? Yup, the driver behind me (who also had to stop) was not happy. Even though that driver could see what was going on, that driver had to let me know with some ubiquitous honking that my kinder gentler approach was not to his liking.

Yup, getting across Ardsley by foot is a killer. Let’s hope that is only metaphorical.

That “elbows out” stuff showed up on another hill yesterday. I was second in line waiting in my car to turn onto Ardsley. Traffic was heavy, and this intersection is a hard one to get across, even if you are in a car. The driver in front of me was not getting a chance to make a left turn safely. Can you guess what happened next? Sure enough, the driver in the car waiting behind me started laying on the horn. Then, I saw his hand shoot out the window with a particular finger raised. You know what I mean. But that apparently wasn’t enough. Next thing I know, that driver jumped out of the car, pumped both arms menacingly, and started yelling loudly to get a move on.   I actually got scared of what might happen next. Thankfully, the first car turned soon after, allowing me to make a quick right and get out of the way before he peeled off across Ardsley.

Perhaps Ardsley Road should be re-named Angers Road.

When we carry around extreme tension, when we grab every second to advance ourselves before another, when we think “me first or my family first” almost exclusively, we really aren’t doing ourselves any good. It may seem like a way to success, but really, the biggest gain is an increase in blood pressure.

Living that way can make us all tight inside. Living “elbows out” can result in chronic stress. And chronic stress is linked to lots of negative effects, like heart attacks, stroke, lower immunity, blood sugar imbalance, poorer thinking, and even speeding up the aging process. Chronic stress can lead to problems in our relationships too. Even young kids are impacted in negative ways.

It’s much better for us if we can learn to keep a steady pace, a relaxed calm in our daily lives and save the stress responses for when we really need them. That’s what’s best for us physically and emotionally.

I like living in Scarsdale, but I’d like it even better if we had less “elbows out” attitude. Our community would be a kinder and gentler place. It would be an even better place to live, for us, for our kids, for our neighbors.

So, I’m all for putting the elbows down. It’s a better way to live. It’s better for you. How about it? Are you interested in joining me in keeping elbows at the side?

If so, I’ll sure be on the lookout for you next time I try to walk across Ardsley Road!

E-motion: Delight

3/27/2012

“You're only here for a short visit.

Don't hurry, don't worry.

And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.”

-Walter Hagen

Have you noticed? Spring is here! That technical sounding vernal equinox has come and gone. From here on we have more light than dark. Some years Spring comes with no visible signs. This year it arrived in full glory.

To celebrate the first day of Spring, I biked the Bronx River Path from Scarsdale down to Bronxville. All along the way, there was no mistaking the season change—spring is here. Buds and blooms everywhere! Forsythia, magnolia, daffodils, hyacinth—all in glorious color.

But I noticed Spring’s arrival in other ways too. Parents out biking with their kids. Babies in strollers grinning. Teenagers wearing smiles along with their ear buds. Older folks relaxing on benches, talking with friends. The folks stuck in bridge traffic hardly honking their horns.

Pretty well everyone seemed to be in a good mood.

There was a lot of delight going around.

Delight in the warm temps. Delight in the buds and blooms. Delight in friendship and conversation. Delight in physical activity. Delight in being outside in the beauty of nature.

It almost seemed contagious. Or maybe it was floating in the air, like pollen. With all this delight, here’s another thing I noticed-- fewer cell phones out.

The curious part of me wondered, might there be a connection? Is delight in life, beauty, and relationships more available to us when we spend less time on our screens? Hmmm….kinda analytical, but something to think more about, that’s for sure.

Part of the delight was from doing something different--taking the time to get outside and look around. Taking the time to “stop and smell the roses” so to speak.   Over and over people tell me they are too busy. They want more time. They know it would be better for them if they weren’t so busy. They worry about what the stress is doing to them. They think about how it impacts the spouse and the kids negatively. They get scared when they hear of someone they know having serious health issues, stuff like heart attacks, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer, auto immune disorders, etc. They wonder if being over-stressed contributes to any of those things developing.

You might say we have a lot of people stressed out about being stressed out. How about you?

Some stress can help keep us on our toes. But, too much, and most of us go in this direction in our fast paced world, well, too much creates problems. And, too much stress takes a big bite out of delight.

So, what to do? Well, something!

Why not start by having more first days of Spring? Of course, there’s only one real first day of Spring, but you can use it as an inspiration for bringing delight to other days too. Why not try a few of these manageable things?

· Stop and look around, when you are inside and when you are outside.

· Pay attention, on purpose, to small things, like a flower bud, or the way light shines on a building.

· Get outside some every day, if only for a short while.

· Notice beauty. It’s all around, even in the city.

· Try being more present, fully present, where you are.

· Try to be more fully present to those you are with, whether they are friends, family, or co-workers.

· Check your phone less often and spend less time using your phone. Seriously. It matters.

· Walk more.

· Breathe in the moment at the moment.   Consider each moment of life a gift to be embraced rather than judged.

· Cultivate gratitude for all you have.

Enjoy Spring!

http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-delight

E-motion: Winterize Yourself!

1/18/2012

Were you surprised to see the ground covered with snow on Monday night? I was! Except for that freak snowstorm in October, we’ve gotten off easily this year. Maybe this week’s dusting of snow is a good reminder—we ARE in wintertime.

Many people tell me their mood plummets in winter. We can feel sluggish; get lethargic and, have less spark during these cold dark days between January and March. We might find ourselves less getting into more arguments, feeling frustrated, getting annoyed more easily, or not able to accomplish things. Our emotional well-being can suffer in winter. In addition, colds and flu run rampant making everything harder.

Think about it.

·        We have less light and sunshine for months at a time

·        We stay inside and get less fresh air

·        We drink less water

·        We do fewer things and have fewer social interactions

If you live with others, especially children, multiply the effects!

What about you? Do you get the winter blues? How does it look for you? For your family?

We do a variety of things to get our homes and cars ready for winter. Is there anything we can do to winterize ourselves emotionally? Well, just asking the question is a good start.

Of course, everyone is different. So, first off, check in with yourself and your family members.

If you get through winter just fine with no real differences emotionally from summer, then you’re doing fine! Enjoy it. But, if winter means you hunker down and struggle to get through, here are a few ideas to try.

Maximize the positives. Do things each week that perk you up. Figure it out for you. Everyone is different. What makes you feel good? Music? Books? Movies? Time with friends? Make sure you schedule some extra time to enjoy these things.   If you have a spell in winter that you notice your mood sinking lower, add some more time enjoying the things on your list. Make sure you include some positive upbeat choices.

Minimize the negatives. Figure out what is hardest about winter for you.   Think about small changes that would impact these things. For example, if you stay inside during winter because you are afraid of falling on ice, get a set of cleats (like Yaktrax) and wear them. If you hunker down and spend most of your free time alone in winter, call up a friend or try out a class that interests you. Make a plan for yourself early in winter, not later. Prevention is always a good choice.

Get away if you can. Go someplace with more sunshine. Go someplace where you can enjoy being outside and more active. When you return from your trip, enlarge a few of your favorite photos to put up in rooms where you spend a lot of time. Put one up on your phone and computer. If you can’t get away, put some pictures of favorite places up anyways! What you look at matters.

Bring something living and green into your home or apartment. A green plant or a spring bulb. It might sound strange, but try growing sprouts or wheatgrass. It’s a great project for kids and super for health.

Get out with friends and laugh together.

Take advantage of sunny days. Step outside, even for a few minutes.

Look for the positive. For example, on a windy day, notice the beauty of the cloud shapes flying across the blue sky.

Spend more time being grateful for what you have rather than longing for what you don’t have. This is good advice, no matter what season!

Please note, some people suffer from severe depression or seasonal affective disorder and need professional treatment. If you have severe or prolonged symptoms, please seek a professional evaluation.

http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-winterize-yourself

E-motion: Get Ready for Irene, But Don't Freak Out The Kids!

8/27/2011

http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-dont-freak-out-the-kids-in-preparing-for-irene

Whether New York escapes Hurricane Irene’s furry or not, we can’t escape being bombarded with news about her. Are you worried? Starting to panic? Stressed to the max? Watching the news non-stop?

Here’s my plea: Don’t freak out your kids. Protect them, regardless of their age, from all the stressing.

Why? Simply put, it can be traumatic for them.

That’s right, regardless of if your child ends up in the actual path of the storm, the anticipatory stressing can leave a trail of storm damage emotionally.   You are getting ready to handle the storm physically. Make sure you get ready to handle the storm emotionally too.

Here are a few tips:

Get your kids away from the television. That’s right, just turn it off.   By now, some children have already been watching hours and hours of storm forecasting. Each terrifying prediction, each scary video, and each worrisome analysis is taken as fact by children. Children are literal thinkers. Hearing and watching continual news hype is going to increase fear and create high levels of unneeded stress. Go ahead and check the news yourself as needed away from your children, but keep the kids out of it, even if they seem like they are drawn to it.

Stay calm. Your kids are going to take their cues from the adults around them. Do what you need to get ready, but try your best to stay calm while you do the needed preparations.

Do the preparations needed for your location, and then settle down and find something to take your mind off the hurricane.

Maintain routine as best as possible. Children thrive on routine.   Keep what routine you can in place for your children. It will provide a needed sense of calm and help the whole family relax during a stressful time.

Answer your child’s questions honestly, but with age appropriate information. Depending on your child’s age, they may be asking for simple reassurance or more in-depth details.   Limit what you say to just answering the question asked. Don’t overdo it. Check in about the feeling behind the question as well. Excessive questions may indicate your child is already highly stressed and seeking reassurance more than answers. Most of all, children need to know they will be taken care of.   You can’t control the storm’s path, but you can control the path of information your child receives.

Be positive. Yes, we’re facing a major storm with potential nightmare like damage. Keeping positive will go far towards helping your child avoid getting unnecessary nightmares or stress. Children need the adults in their lives to be in charge. You are in charge of keeping a positive atmosphere alive in your household during this stressful time. Reassure your child that you have handled things as needed and will take care of them.

Encourage play as usual. Play is the work of a child. Encourage your children to play, laugh, and relax. Get out some board games that don’t require electricity or batteries and play together. Keep the atmosphere light and adventuresome.

Take care of your teens too. It’s not just small children or elementary age children that are impacted. Teens will also benefit from being pulled away from the television, given reassurance, and encouraged to take their minds off the storm. Let them help with preparations but let them also be kids who can relax because they have adults who are in charge.

Using the above tips will help your children and you come through the storm in a calmer place. It will be better for all of you.

E-motion: What's in Your Toolbox?

7/27/2011

http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-whats-in-your-toolbox

Last year my son gave me a nifty alarm clock. This clock projects time and temperature onto the ceiling in bright red numerals. You need only peek an eye open to know it’s; “time to get up”, or “go ahead and grab a few more winks.” In moments of greater lucidity, you can note the outside temperature and plan what to wear, all before moving a muscle.

This past week I avoided looking at those red numbers. Not because I didn’t want to find out the time, rather, I didn’t want to be reminded how blasted hot it was outside!

The New York Times got it right when writer N.R. Kleinfield said the 104 degree heat created, “instant dripping wretchedness.”

I didn’t like it. No one did.

But we got through it, didn’t we? And, today my delightful clock read a welcoming 67 degrees. I looked at it with both eyes open and a smile on my face. With our short weather memory banks, the heat wave almost seems a thing of the past. Of course, August is around the corner…

We faced something we didn’t like, something quite unpleasant, and we got through it. And we will again. How’d we do that?

We found ways to cope.

Some of us jumped in pools, even fully clothed. My creative photographer, Beka Schott of Mod Photography, had the right idea for this week’s cool photo shoot! Some of us stayed inside with the AC on high. One of my friends put up a snowy winter screensaver for distraction. We found ways to get through, to cope.

Coping is all about finding ways to make the best of difficult things.

It’s not just the weather that we need to cope with. Life is tough at times. Everyone faces tough times, even our kids. We assume negative things, like heat, loss of job, illness, accident or death will be stressful to deal with. We don’t as often consider that even positive changes like starting college, moving to a new bigger place, or welcoming a baby can increase our stress too.

It’s helpful once in a while to step back from your life and take inventory of your coping skills. How do you cope? Do you have a variety of coping strategies to use?

Let’s use the comparison of a well outfitted toolbox. You need a variety of tools to be effective with repairs. There’s a lot you can fix with a hammer, set of wrenches, a few screwdrivers, and pliers. But, if you only had a hammer, you would be out of luck for fixing things that need, say, a wrench. We need a variety of coping tools to meet life’s challenges. We need a full toolbox with a generous mix of coping tools for good balance in life. We’re all different, but balance is a good thing for everyone.

There are hundreds of coping tools that people use. Many can be put into two categories, either emotionally focused or solution focused. Take a look at these two types, described below. Which ones do you tend to use?

When faced with something difficult in life do you:

·       Try to put a positive spin on things?

·       Keep your sense of humor even in a tough situation?

·       Get inspiration from remembering someone who has it worse than you?

·       Do an extra-long workout to feel better?

These are examples of emotional focused coping tools. They don’t really change the stressful situation. They change our perception of the situation and/or our emotions. And that is powerful. They are especially helpful for those times when we really can’t change the situation we find ourselves in, whether it be hot weather, or severe health diagnosis. Emotionally focused coping tools help us calm down and get in a better place.

Or,when faced with something difficult do you:

·       Seek out more information about the problem or stress?

·       Make a list of how to attack the problem?

·       Consult with others for solutions?

·       Work to modify your behavior or the situation you are in?

These are examples of solution focused strategies. They are aimed at changing the situation that is causing the stress. If you change the situation itself or change your part in the situation, the stress level changes too. Solution focused strategies are vital to learn and use.

Maybe you do some of both. That’s actually good for balance, and good for coping.

When we are stressed out our bodies and minds go into hyper drive. To cope, we first have to settle ourselves down. Emotional focused strategies help most here. When we are calm emotionally we are in a better place to use the tools of solution focused strategies for those situations where we can make changes.

Emotional focused tools and solution focused tools are both positive ways to cope.

There’s another category too, negative tools. Think of these as tools that, in the short run, seem to help, but in the long run don’t help at all. They can even make things worse. These negative strategies are like cheap tools you might pick up at the five and dime. Any handyman or handywoman will tell you “buy good quality, not cheap tools.” Examples of cheap fixes or negative coping tools are: denial, self-medicating by substance abuse, helplessness, or self-blame. If these are your main coping tools, your toolbox needs an overhaul.

So, take a look at your coping toolbox. What’s in it? What tools for coping do you use most? Is it time to discard any useless tools you’ve been holding on to? Would you benefit from expanding your tool box to include more quality coping tools?

E-motion: Laugh a Lot!

7/20/2011

“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life”

http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-laugh-a-lot

I was headed into the city armed with lively tunes on my headset (playing loudly, I might add) and an unopened New Yorker magazine to enjoy. I settled in for the morning ride, surrounded by sleepy looking commuters and scanned the magazine for my favorite feature, the cartoons. I’m sure I blended right in with everyone else until…well, until I violated two of the unwritten social rules of commuting:

1. Don’t draw undue attention to yourself and

2. Don’t invade the personal space of those around you.

I felt more than saw that apparently I’d both attracted attention and invaded personal space.   And then I realized what I’d done. I’d laughed out loud. Not a huge noisy guffaw, more like a snort, but audible, all the same.

Did you know it’s actually easier to laugh out loud (without knowing) when one has a headset on? Well, it is. And that cartoon hit my funny bone, big time. I got over my embarrassment soon enough.   But the chuckling stayed with me all day burbling up whenever I thought of that hilarious cartoon.

I like to laugh. Do you?

Some people laugh more than others. Some people hardly laugh at all. They’ve actually studied how many times a day people laugh and found that adults laugh on average 15 times a day. Children laugh twice as much. Different things make different people laugh. But, humans laugh. It’s one of the things that set us apart from other creatures.

Other than fun, what good is laughter? We’ve all heard the adage, “Laughter is good medicine.” And there’s a Yiddish proverb that goes like this: “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” We know we need soap, especially on these hot humid days of July! So we must need laughter too.

Have you ever thought so seriously about laughter?

Researchers have. It’s been known for a long time that laughter helps people cope with the troubles of life. We’ve even known it helps people deal better with major illnesses, like cancer. The newest research show that not only is laughter good medicine, it is super good medicine with both immediate and long term benefits for our health and wellbeing.

Laughter helps us fight disease by balancing our immune systems.

Laughter reduces stress hormones.

Laughter calms us down when we are agitated, angry, or tense.

Laughter increases cells that fight tumors and viruses.

Laughter can even provide a full body workout. Yes, it is a form of aerobic exercise. Researchers estimate 15 minutes on an exercise bike and 100 good laughs produce about the same aerobic benefits. Think of it, when you laugh you use your diaphragm, your abdomen, and the muscles of your face, legs, and back.

Sometimes people have stored up anger, fear, or sadness inside that they find hard to let out. These emotions can cause damage to us when held inside. Laughter can help release negative emotions without harm and in an easy fashion.   In this way, laughter can be very cathartic.

Laughter is good for relationships too.   When you laugh with others, it is contagious and can change the mood of a whole room immediately. Haven’t you been in a tense meeting that is greatly improved by a good laugh? Or with family members when the mood is going downhill fast and then, someone says something funny, laughter erupts, and the room suddenly feels lighter? Next time you and your spouse are gearing for a conflict, try laughing together instead of fighting. You’ll probably find the conflict eases and maybe disappears.

We naturally laugh when we find things funny. But we can encourage ourselves to laugh, even when things aren’t so funny. Remember a funny joke, situation, or story. Tell it out loud and laugh.   Go to a funny movie or watch a comedian. Or even, just make yourself start laughing in a forced way.   It’s actually quite funny to do this and the benefits are still present, even when laughter is forced. Make friends with people who like to laugh. Spend time with children who are naturals at laughing.

So laugh awhile.
Out loud.
Even on the train.
Put your whole belly into it.
And then do it again.

E-motion: Want to Be More Productive? Learn to Relax.

7/13/2011

It sounds like a contradiction, but it isn’t!
Learning to relax can increase our productivity.
http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-want-to-be-more-productive-learn-to-relax

Comfort is a casualty in most hammocks if you want some serious sleep. But, have you ever tried a yucateca hammacka? That is, one of the multicolored cotton hammocks from the Yucatan peninsula in Mexico? These things are amazing. No other hammock compares. They take 5 weeks of meticulous hand weaving to produce and come in various sizes from twin to king. No, I’m not selling them, but one of these yucateca hammackas was my only bed for a whole summer years back while spending a summer in Merida. I found its airy comfort pure bliss. I still have it; faded now and very un-glorious looking but it produces instant relaxation for me the moment I climb in.

Do you have anything that makes you relax instantly?

(I’m not talking about anything that comes in a capsule or bottle.)

How good are you at relaxing?

Are you good at relaxing?

We lead pretty hectic lives. Even in our down times, like summer, we have full agendas. If you ask someone, “How’s your summer going?” the most common response is, “It’s busy!”

Maybe you are just back from a nice vacation, or planning one in a few weeks. Vacations do provide a change to get away from packed schedules, do something different and have special times. Vacations are great. And, have you noticed when people return from vacation they often look different? They’re calm like, relaxed, and peaceful. Vacations are good for us because they give us a chance to relax.

·        Relaxing is good for us.

·        Relaxing reduces stress levels.

·        Relaxing lowers blood pressure.

·        Relaxing decreases muscle tension

Relaxing involves our bodies and our minds. We can be sitting in an easy chair looking all relaxed on the outside with our minds not at all relaxed but full of swirling stressful thoughts. True relaxing is when our body and our mind are freed of tension. Relaxing is a productive activity to do. True relaxing is a state of calm for both body and mind.

So, are you wondering how relaxing can be productive if it looks like doing nothing?

Good question. As strange as it sounds, this “doing nothing” actually produces great benefits. Take a look at this enticing list of benefits associated with relaxing:

·        Better sleep.

·        Less headaches and pains.

·        Increased ability to concentrate.

·        Less frustration, anxiety, and anger.

·        More calm, joy, and peace.

·        Enhanced energy.

·        Stronger immune system.

·        Improved problem solving.

Vacations are great for relaxing, but they don’t last long enough.

Summer is great too, but it doesn’t last long enough either!

Do we have to settle for waiting for summer or a vacation to de-stress and relax? Actually, that is a prescription for problems. Our lives are filled with stress. Too much stress is linked with loads of health problems. Even our kids these days are showing up with mental backpacks loaded down with stress. To stay healthy, we need some time each day for relaxing. We can’t just wait for our vacations to relax.

So, I suggest planning mini mental vacations. You can take them each day. You can take them whether you are on the train, at your desk, or at home with family members around.   They’re a simple habit to learn, but a vital one to do. They belong on everyone’s agenda whether you are under 18 or over 18.

Taking a mini mental vacation goes like this:

CLAIM YOUR MINI-VACATION

Settle yourself down someplace, sitting or standing is fine, just declare it time for a mini vacation and take 1-3 minutes for yourself. Longer is even better, but 1-3 minutes several times a day will produce benefits. You don’t have to be alone, but you do need to be able to concentrate on being on your mini-vacation. Claim the time. Think of it as a necessity.

BREATHE

Start with taking three deep breaths. Notice your breathing as you do it. Breathe slowly, in and out. Pay attention and think about your breathe going in, filling you up, delivering needed oxygen to your body and brain.

RELAX AND CALM YOUR MIND

As you continue breathing deeply, empty or calm your mind. This can be hard to do. One way to bring on calm is to put on a mental movie of a relaxing memory, like being at the beach listening to the waves. Stay with the memory or calm thought. Close your eyes if you can or look at something you enjoy in the room. If stressful thoughts interrupt, replace them with the calm memory or thought.

RELAX AND CALM YOUR MUSCLES

Notice your muscles. Ease any tension you find by letting your muscles relax. Many people carry their stress in their neck, shoulders and back. If you are in a private place, do a few neck rolls or shake out your hands to relax. Then stand and do some gentle stretching. Take deep breaths while you stretch. If you have to stay at a desk you can stretch your legs, roll your ankles, or wrists while remaining seated.

CARRY THE CALM WITH YOU

Keep enjoying the relaxing memory, refreshing breathing, and easing of muscle tension. When it’s time to return from your mini-vacation, take another deep breath, relax your face muscles, and smile gently. Notice and enjoy being more calm. Carry it with you in both your mind and your body as you return from your mini-vacation.

Want to be more productive? Put mini mental vacations in your schedule each and every day.

Too Much Exposure?

3/16/2011

Reprinted from Scarsdale Patch weekly column
E-motion by Tamera Schreur
http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-too-much-exposure

Have you been feeling extra stressed this week?
Maybe it’s not connected to your job, personal life or family issues.
Maybe your exposure count is too high.

We are naturally drawn to television news when disaster strikes. It is hard to turn off the vivid images of death and destruction being played over and over. There’s almost an addictive quality to it, don’t you think? Bigger screens and the advent of high definition televisions make this even truer. It's almost like being at the scene.

This week, we are bombarded with images from Japan. It’s a three-fold disaster, including an earthquake, a tsunami and nuclear plant explosions. It is a horrific tragedy, and many in our area have close connections to the region. I encourage you to take the opportunity to reach out and help.

This is also an opportunity to get informed about another threat, one far less severe than what is happening in Japan, but significant all the same. This threat is of particular concern to our children, even though we live far from Japan.

What I’m talking about is the danger of overdosing on television news. Maybe that sounds like a strange or even silly concern to you. But stay with me a few minutes and consider this: is there such a thing as too much indirect exposure to a crisis?

Simply put, the answer is YES.

Current television news is unparalleled in immediacy and scope. The whole world comes close to us through TV. In America, we invite it into the most private rooms of our homes. And we welcome it in great amounts.

Count the televisions you have in your household. Count the number of people that live in your home. Which number is higher? And now, with internet video and smart phones, we can be continuously immersed in news reports.

According to expert Jessica Hamblen, PhD, and the Dart Center for Journalism and Trauma report, “Research generally finds an association between watching media coverage of traumatic events and stress symptoms.”

Too much exposure to graphic images of disaster and death can be linked to stress symptoms. These include feelings of helplessness, anxiety, trouble sleeping, and physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches, increased irritability and more.

We can become caught in a cycle of helplessness, fear and worry. Will it happen here? Will I be hurt? Will my family be separated or injured? Indirect exposure of a disaster (watching it on television) can leave scars and interfere with normal life.

Go back with me to 9/11. It’s almost ten years past, but still very fresh. I did not see the Twin Towers fall with my own eyes, and I would think few of you did either. Or did we?

If I wasn’t there, why can I close my eyes and vividly “see” the second plane hit and “see” the towers implode into massive clouds of dust? Can you do the same?

How about your kids, if they are old enough? It’s because we saw it over and over again on the television. Many children in my counseling practice showed signs of significant anxiety and stress for months and even years following the attacks. Even now, in 2011, people have flashbacks.

People with pre-existing anxiety issues, young children, and those who have experienced a similar trauma in the past are most vulnerable to being negatively impacted. Stress can be raised to a dangerous level.

I like this simple quote from Esther Sternberg, MD, a leading stress researcher and the chief of neuroendocrine immunology and behavior at the National Institute of Mental Health, “Like email and email spam, a little stress is good but too much is bad; you'll need to shut down and reboot…"

You can put some things in place to keep exposure levels safe in your household.

Limit or stop watching television coverage of a disaster, especially in the evening before going to sleep.
The younger your child is, the more important these limits are. No exposure is best for small children.
Stay informed with alternative news sources like written materials or radio that do not have disturbing images replayed over and over.
Keep routines in place and maintain healthy practices. They lower stress, energize and comfort.
If you are a parent and allow your children to watch coverage on television, watch with them. Talk with them. Be aware of developmental differences. For example, small children may think something is happening again when they see a replay of it. Ask about their thoughts and feelings about what is happening. Answer their questions. Help them with any confusion or misunderstanding. Children thrive on predictability and security. Children will be looking for comfort and reassurance. Give these in generous amounts.
Get professional help if stress levels become too high and/or do not go away.
Channel your concerns into finding a way to help the victims. It is great to come together as a family, congregation, school or community to provide help.