Weirdest thing....a wild turkey running down Central Avenue the week before Thanksgiving!http://scarsdale.patch.com/articles/e-motion-thanksgiving-living

He was running for his life.  And, with good reason!  Turkeys shouldn’t be seen around town the week before Thanksgiving.  That is, unless they want to be served up as gourmet guests of honor.

But, there he was, in proud gobble regalia, running along Central Avenue—yes, Central Avenue, dodging  traffic.   He looked so out of place, yet somehow, so exactly in place near the holiday that features as centerpiece this strange bird.

I drove on with a big smile plastered on my face.  That audacious turkey brightened my whole day. 

I really like the Thanksgiving holiday.  But,  it’s not because of eating turkey.  What I like is the focus on being thankful and admitting it out loud.   Taking stock and being thankful; that’s really what the whole holiday is about, isn’t it? 

We call it Thanksgiving  Day, but I like to think of it as a way to live.  And live well.

There’s a Facebook post going around that’s pretty intriguing.  It says, what if you woke up today with only the things you gave thanks for yesterday?  I hear it got people worried.  Now, it seems to me, that point of that question isn’t to create anxiety about making sure your Give Thanks Checklist is comprehensive enough.   I think it’s more a gentle prodding to realize our lives can be so full of doing this and doing that, that, well, we simply forget to stop and be thankful. 

I like how President Obama reminded us to be thankful in his Thanksgiving Proclamation last year.

As Americans gather for the time-honored Thanksgiving Day meal, let us rejoice in the abundance that graces our tables, in the simple gifts that mark our days, in the loved ones who enrich our lives, and in the gifts of a gracious God.  Let us recall that our forebears met their challenges with hope and an unfailing spirit, and let us resolve to do the same.

So, when’s the last time you stopped to think about the abundance in your life?  I know, I know, you’re busy!  Soccer schedules, Thanksgiving menus, unfinished homework, kid’s appointments, and more press relentlessly on our time.  But, I’m really asking, when is the last time you recalled how blessed you are?  Did you know, it’s really worth doing?

Here’s why.  People who live with thankful attitudes have better lives.   Yes, there are actually gratitude researchers who study this sort of thing.  They’ve proven that people who cultivate gratitude end up with lots of bonuses.  Bonuses like, better overall health, more energy, stronger marriages, better sleep, and even higher incomes.  The studies suggest that the regular cultivation of gratitude and appreciation has multiple psychological and physical benefits.  Aren’t these all things you’d like to have? 

You don’t have to have a farm background to cultivate more gratitude in your life.  Everyone can do it.  Even kids.    Here’s some simple ways Dr. Robert Emmons, one of those gratitude researchers, suggests to infuse more gratitude into your daily life:

·        Make a commitment to do it.  Renew the commitment each day.

·        Develop a language of gratitude rather than a language of complaint. 

·        Keep your eyes and ears open to the small gifts in daily life; notice the sunset or full moon, enjoy the smile of a young child, the smell of coffee, the changing colors of fall.

·        Focus on good things, especially the good things others do for us that show love and help us realize how connected we all are.

·        Be someone who does grateful actions.  Thank people often.  Help others.  Practice those random acts of kindness whenever you see an opportunity.  Small ways really add up.

·        Notice the things that you are thankful for and the gifts that come your way, large and small.  Keeping track of them in a journal and talking about them with others is a great idea. 

I like Dr. Emmons suggestions.  I’m going to work on them myself.  I suggest you give a few of them a try as well.

And here’s one more idea you can use when you gather with family and friends on Thanksgiving Day.

Get one of those ears of decorative corn and break off some of the kernels.  Put three pieces by each place setting at your thanksgiving table.   And then, after you’ve passed around the scrumptious plates of food and taken a few bites, invite people to hold their kernels and think of three things they are especially thankful for this year, large or small.  Invite them to even more boldly, share what those things are out loud.  Sure, it’s a bit corny to do, but try it.  I think you’ll find it tender and succulent, just like the turkey. 

I found two new bumper stickers at the Stone Barns Harvest Festival a few weeks ago.  One says, “WE ARE WHAT WE EAT.”  The other says, “WHO’S YOUR FARMER?”

Do you know your farmer?  I think most of us here in Scarsdale more likely know the owner of our favorite local restaurant.  We have some great places to eat.   I tried out the Little Thai Kitchen this week.  Maybe my decision was out of sympathy for it being stranded in the midst of the Popham Bridge construction.  Maybe it was because a friend recommended it as the best Thai food around.

The place wasn’t crowded.  We were the only ones dining in.   I wondered about my friend’s recommendation.  And then I realized, we weren’t the only ones getting to eat their delicious food.  This little place did a brisk take out business, seemingly linked with the arrival of evening trains.   

I can’t say I know the farmer who grew the eggplant, peppers and basil in my entre, but they sure were delicious and fresh.

“WE ARE WHAT YOU EAT.”  Think about that sticker’s message for a minute.   It makes a lot of sense, but if you are like me, it’s not the main thing I’m thinking about when I sit down for a great meal.  I do try to eat healthy foods though, and I hope you do too.  We hear a lot about what foods are good and what foods are bad for our physical health, but less how foods connect to our mental health.    Growing up, I often heard, “Eat your carrots, they’re good for your eyes.”  But, I never heard, “Eat your avocados, they’ll keep you happy.”  Could it be true that what we eat matters for our mental health as well as our physical health?  Are food and mood connected?

Seems pretty clear the answer is yes.

I found a study published by The British Journal of Psychiatry about researchers who looked at this area of  food and mood.   They studied what kind of food people eat and symptoms of depression. 

They found two different diet types in their study.  One group had a pattern of eating whole foods (including plentiful vegetables, fruit, whole grains and fish).  The second group had a processed foods pattern (lots of sweets, fried food, food high in fat, and food heavily processed).  Can you guess which group had higher levels of depression?  You guessed it, the one with the processed foods diet.

So, with the research in mind, let me remind you we have a great source of fresh food here in Scarsdale—our local Farmer’s Market!  It IS possible to “know your farmer!”  The market is held May-November in the parking lot next to the train station taxi stand from 9-1:30PM on Saturdays.  And, it’s held rain or shine!

You can find locally produced fresh foods, including organic.  The products are home-grown and home-made from around the Hudson Valley.  Maybe shopping the farmer’s market is already on your weekly schedule.  If not, consider adding it as a family or community event to your schedule.  It’ll be fun, tasty—and good for your mental well-being!

National Food Day is October 24, 2011.   Check it out @ http://www.foodday.org/why-eat-real/

 

People often talk about physical health problems.  In great detail.  (Sometimes, in too great of detail!)  You only need ask, “How have you been?”  Almost anything is up for general discussion—back problems, headaches, surgeries, even menopause. There are a few subjects you don’t hear much about in public like hemorrhoids, urinary infections or impotence, but even those show up on occasion! 

There is one area of health that rarely gets talked about in public.  That seems rather strange, because it is much more common than a lot of the other conditions that gets talked about frequently.  This health problem is so common it affects one in four adults and one in five school-age children.

Those who have it can be any age, any color, any size, and have any amount of money.  This illness doesn’t discriminate or play favorites.

I’m talking about mental illness, something many of you reading right now have.  Only, unlike a physical health problem, you probably haven’t told many of your friends or colleagues, maybe not even your family members.  Or, if you have told, you’ve likely asked them to keep it private.  Really private.

We keep our mental issues private because of stigma.  And for good reason.  Stigma is a powerful thing.  We are afraid we’ll lose our friends, lose our jobs, or lose our standing in the community if people find out.  Or we expect people will be afraid of us, think we’re crazy, and wonder if we’re going to do something horrible or embarrassing.   Or we worry people will be overly gooey in their sympathy and stop treating us the same.

The Mayo Clinic notes these harmful effects of stigma connected with mental illness:

·       Lack of understanding by family, friends, colleagues or others you know

·       Discrimination at work or school

·       Difficulty finding housing

·       Bullying, physical violence or harassment

·       Health insurance that doesn't adequately cover your mental illness

·       The belief that you will never be able to succeed at certain challenges or that you can't improve your situation

Pretty serious things.  With all the associated stigma, it makes sense, doesn’t it, that people don’t feel comfortable admitting they have a mental illness?

It makes sense to me.

But it’s time to change.

I invite you to join me in standing up to the stigma associated with mental illness.  Of course, it’s easier said than done. 

Education helps.  Awareness building helps. 

Organizations like, Active Minds http://www.activeminds.org/, Bring Change to Mind http://www.bringchange2mind.org/ and MAMI http://www.nami.org/ are working to reduce stigma.  Others, like The National Institute of Mental Health http://www.nimh.nih.gov, World Federation for Mental Health http://www.wfmh.com/ and Mental Health America http://www.nmha.org/ are involved as well.  I encourage you to click on at least one of those links and expand your awareness in the area of mental health.

But don’t stop there.  I have three personal recommendations as well. 

These are fairly simple things I think everyone can do, starting today.  Here goes:

Number One-- Link yourself with mental illness.

That’s right, own it as something that could happen to you, your child, or your parent.  Maybe it already has.  Being healthy mentally is part of overall health and wellbeing.  That goes for everyone.  Stigma starts when we make a distinction apart from ourselves.  With one in five adults affected and one in ten children, it is not a US versus THEM thing.  It’s US.  

Number Two—Watch your language.

How we talk about something influences us strongly.  Next time you find yourself commenting on someone with a mental illness, check how you say it.  Instead of saying, “She’s bipolar” say, “She has bipolar.”  The first equates a person will mental illness, leading to stigma and separation. The other correctly indicates a condition a person has.   Change starts slowly, and this is a small but influential step to take.

Number Three—Start talking more about mental illness.

Maybe you aren’t ready to go out on a limb and share about your own mental health.  That’s okay.  But everyone can start talking more about mental health in general. Let’s get it to be part of our everyday health conversations.   Read an article about depression and talk about it over coffee with someone else. 

Doing these three things will reduce the silence.  It will reduce the shame.  It will reduce the stigma.

Edgemont and Scarsdale have excellent schools for children.  But some kids have trouble adjusting, no matter how good the school is.  By now you know if you have a child who is adjusting easily or if you have one who isn’t.  One group of parents is thankful and relaxed as the school day starts, the other group tense and wary.

Here are a few suggestions, in case you are still trying to solve the conundrum of adjustment.

Be positive and caring with your child.   It is a big deal for a child to go to a new classroom, have a new teacher, new school, new expectations, new routines, and new students around.  Some children need extra time to adjust.  Shy children, sensitive children, or children who have complicated things going on in their lives (family problems, marital struggles, recent move, etc.) are especially apt to need extra time to adjust smoothly.

·        Acknowledge the negative emotions.  

·        Normalize the struggle. 

·        Talk positively with your child overall. 

Say something like, “I know you feel sad and a little scared sometimes at school.  Sometimes it takes a while to get used to new things and have those sad and scared feelings go away.  That’s ok.  Let’s also remember that you have a great school and one of the best teachers around.   And, you’ve already made a new friend.” 

Being positive with your child includes monitoring what they might overhear you saying to someone else.  A child has fine-tuned antennae that immediately pick up the smallest of parental signals.  I call them “Mickey Mouse Ears.   It won’t match if they hear you being positive with them and then telling your friends negative things about school.

Stay calm yourself.   Your stress and anxiety will be noticed by your child.  Sometimes children reflect the struggle of a parent who is ambivalent about letting the child go to school.  It can be a big deal for parents too.  Take care of yourself and do what you need to stay in a positive and calm place emotionally.  Drop off and pick up are the most critical times.  If you can’t manage to do either or both in a calm positive manner, enlist help from your spouse, friend or relative.  Often children will behave quite differently with the other parent or a close friend. 

Remind your child how he/she adjusted positively in the past.  Think of something, large or small, that was hard for your child and how he/she overcame it.  Talk about it together and help reinforce the idea that your child has resources inside to use to help get through the adjustment difficulties.  Ask your child what would help (other than not going to school!).  Often a certain part of the day is hardest for a child; for example, drop off, lunch, or recess.   It may be a big thing that bothers him/her, or it may be a smaller thing.   From a child’s perspective, it all matters.  Brainstorm together about how to solve the most worrisome part.   Ask, “What would make (fill in the blank) time easier for you?”  Try to help your child be as specific as possible in being part of formulating a positive plan of action.    Saying simply, “Tomorrow will be better” is not as effective as “Tomorrow I’ll look for my new friend and go over and show him my new lunchbox after you drop me off.”

Get your child up 20 minutes earlier.   School mornings can be full of rushing, pushing and parental commands.  “Do this, remember that, finish now, etc.”  A frantic start leads to high stress.  High stress increases the likelihood of problems throughout the day.  Prepare things the night before, get everyone to bed on time, and get your child up 20 minutes earlier in the morning.   A calm more relaxed start will positively influence the whole day.

Work with the school.   Struggles the first week back to school are fairly common, especially for smaller children.  If the struggles go into the second week and beyond, ask to meet with your child’s teacher, without the child present. Try to find out more specifics about the school side of the struggle, and share more specifics with the school from the home side.  Your child is likely new to the teacher, so help the teacher know more about him/her.  Let the teacher know about any unique situations or special needs.  It will make the picture clearer for both of you.   Remember, most teachers have dealt with this issue repeatedly and will have valuable wisdom to share.  Consult a professional if problems are severe or simply do not abate. 

Come up with a good plan and see it through.  School adjustment tantrums are so public, sometimes embarrassingly big, and the child’s distress so acute that a parent can feel desperate to eliminate the problem.   Sometimes parents grab at straws trying one fix and then another, rapidly in succession, including pulling a child out of school or changing schools within the first few weeks.  Remember, solutions can take time.  Try not to get overwhelmed.  Stay hopeful, calm, and as clear headed as you can.   Although you are the expert on your child, working together with experienced school staff will help you develop a good plan of action.   Don’t alter or give up on the plan too quickly.  It might not work the first day you try it, or the second.  That doesn’t mean it isn’t going to work.

 

Tomorrow is the wedding anniversary of one of my favorite couples.  Their wedding day was a mountain top experience.  Literally!   Yes, they had a very cool ceremony and reception on the top of a mountain. 

They are still keeping the vows they made four years ago.  They are still committed to each other.  They still love each other.  In addition, over the last four years, I’ve watched these things not just stay in place, but grow!

Anniversaries are special.  They are dates to mark on the calendar, remember, and observe.  We mark many anniversaries besides weddings.   Some are happier events than others.  Earlier this week we marked a somber ten year anniversary. 

I think we are drawn, as people, to mark things, like anniversaries, whether joyful or somber or anything in-between.  One day on the calendar isn’t all that different than the day before or after.  But, if the date is an anniversary, it IS different because of what we associate with that date.   It becomes endowed with meaning.  Celebrating anniversaries helps us remember what’s important.  It helps us reserve time to honor and celebrate.  It helps us go forward into the future.

For couples, celebrating anniversaries is an opportunity to be reminded not just of the wedding day, but of marriage.  Weddings, no matter how long you plan in advance, take place in one day.  Marriage involves months, years, and, for some, decades.  Staying married these days is an accomplishment.  It takes commitment as well as love.  Many couples tell me it is that commitment, in fact, not love, that keeps them going through the rough patches. 

And, yes, most marriages have rough patches.  Sometimes they are small, easily fixed rough patches, but sometimes they are major potholes, like an affair, or other breach of trust.  These patches need extensive and time consuming repair.  We don’t always know how to do such repair.  Sometimes a couple needs professional help to get through such a rough patch.  Each anniversary is an accomplishment to be celebrated.

I’ve noticed that traditional wedding planning seems to be granted to the bride to manage, yet anniversary planning is handed over to the groom.  Have you noticed the commercials on television and the ads in the paper?  They often seem to be about a man making the event special for a woman, usually by purchasing something quite expensive. 

Here’s an anniversary idea a couple shared recently that contrasts sharply with such marketing practices.   It balances the gender equation.  This happily married couple takes turns year by year.  One year he does it.  The next year she does it.  Each year one spouse uses what he/she knows best about the other to craft a unique surprise, or series of surprises.  Unlike a birthday, the celebration is about both of them.  But, like a birthday, the celebration is geared especially to delight one of them, according to tastes, preferences, and wishes.  It’s been as simple as a picnic by candlelight.  It’s been as involved as a trip to an exotic location.  The amount of money spent is deliberately not the point for this couple.  A stranger could buy you something you like.  But, only someone who knows you deeply can craft a celebration like they do.  Their focus is to honor and treasure the partner in simple and profound gestures.  With that focus, the marriage bond is celebrated and strengthened.   This couple’s idea seems, to me, a way of saying “I Do” all over again. 

The second idea I heard was from a couple together for over 20 years.  Each year around their anniversary they take a trip.  While away from everyday routines, structure, and concerns, they take significant time to evaluate their marriage over the last year.  They do this evaluation first on their own, and then together in a long loving conversation.  It becomes a dialogue of reflection, encouragement, and critique.  They spend a lot of the time listening.  They are careful to keep the critique part from turning into a litany of complaints.  Instead, they look together at what they wish had been different and then talk about specific ways to make it better in the coming year of marriage.   With backgrounds in education, they even go so far as to offer each other a marriage letter grade for the year.   Not every couple wants the reflection style or grading of this couple.  Personally, I like the reflection part, but am not likely to ask my spouse for a grade on our next anniversary!  But, for this couple, it clearly works to keep their marriage vibrant.  Remember, we are all different.

Are you married?  Look forward to your anniversary and celebrate well!  Celebrate in a style that fits for the two of you.  It will strengthen and enrich your marriage.

What do you remember from 9-11-01?  I would think any of you age 15 or older can instantly give the precise details on where you were, what you were doing, and how you heard about the tragedies. 

The date is embedded in US history unlike any other.  It marks a trauma for us as a nation.  Our New York skyline is not the same.  And, we are not the same. 

Some of us lost a loved one.  Many of us know someone who lost a loved one.   1 World Trade Center is all too close to us here in Scarsdale, NY.   Our hearts still ache.

There are many things that traumatize people.  War, atrocities like rape, accidents, violence, abuse, severe illness, and bullying are traumatizing.  A trauma usually happens without warning.  We feel unprepared and powerless to prevent it.  After a trauma we are left feeling frightened, vulnerable, and helpless.  People often experience both emotional and physical symptoms such as;

·        Emotional: 

Just a week ago we were all bracing for the nightmare named Irene.  And today, it seems very much a thing of the past.   Well, maybe you are one of the unlucky ones still getting water out of your basement or dealing with power outages, but, basically, aren’t we all full of relief that it wasn’t worse?

Sweet relief.  Life hands us lots of things that are hard.  Sometimes our expectations and worry are on target with what actually happens.  Sometimes reality is worse.   But today, I’m grateful that Irene’s wallop turned out to be more of a slap, than a punch, for New York. 

So, maybe you are wondering why you are feeling so tired out and exhausted.   Maybe you or a family member is still feeling somewhat uneasy or worried.  Maybe you are relieved, but finding yourself on edge and not able to concentrate.

That’s normal.

Even though Irene didn’t hit as hard as expected, we’ve just been through a crisis.  Going through a crisis takes a toll emotionally.   It’s kind of like a flooded river.   Our emotions take a while to recede after they are flooded.  Depending on how the storm impacted you personally, the level of emotional flooding may be moderate to high.  It will take some time to get back to normal. 

Much of our lives are planned to a tee.  We have predictable routines, schedules, and expectations about how things will go.   And then, a crisis or natural disaster comes along, and life turns into a wild storm we can’t control, no matter how much we want to, or how much money or influence we have.  

As you recover from Irene, you are likely dealing with many things—getting power restored, filing an insurance claim, removing downed trees, or reassuring your children.  Sadly, some along the eastern seaboard are dealing with the severity of loss of life or home.   Even people not in Irene’s path experienced a level of increased worry because the network coverage saturated the whole USA, and, indeed, the world.   Sadly, some along the eastern seaboard are dealing with severe crisis-- loss of life or home. 

Give yourself permission to take time to get back to normal.  Like Metro North service, it takes time to get back to normal.  If you are parenting, it is especially important to remember that children may face continued fears or worry for some time to come.  Children do not have the capacity to think like adults.    Small children may have trouble going to sleep, high anxiety any changes in weather, or not want to separate.  Older children and teens may show signs of stress also with behavior or emotional changes.  Tune in to your children and be ready to give them special care if needed.  If things seem severe or don’t return to normal fairly soon, seeking help from a counselor or physician is in order.  On top of getting over Irene, children and youth have another big event coming up soon—school starts.  Any time we have several big events packed together, whether planned or unexpected, it is harder to manage.  Make sure to give yourself and your children the help needed.

The Red Cross offers these suggestions for managing emotional recovery following a disaster:

·         Try to return to as many of your personal and family routines as possible.

·         Get rest and drink plenty of water.

·         Limit your exposure to the sights and sounds of disaster, especially on television, the radio and in the newspapers. 

·         Focus on the positive. 

·         Recognize your own feelings. 

·         Reach out and accept help from others. 

·         Do something you enjoy. Do something as a family that you have all enjoyed in the past. 

·         Stay connected with your family and/or other support systems. 

·         Realize that, sometimes, recovery can take time. 

 So, as we all recover, reach out and get any help you might need.  Be an extra caring parent and/or neighbor.  Be there for each other.  Give thanks for what you have.  

Going through the crisis of Irene was a unifying experience.    We can continue coming together to get past the crisis and back to full emotional strength.

Whether New York escapes Hurricane Irene’s furry or not, we can’t escape being bombarded with news about her.  Are you worried?  Starting to panic?  Stressed to the max?  Watching the news non-stop?

Here’s my plea:  Don’t freak out your kids.  Protect them, regardless of their age, from all the stressing.

Why?  Simply put, it can be traumatic for them. 

That’s right, regardless of if your child ends up in the actual path of the storm, the anticipatory stressing can leave a trail of storm damage emotionally.   You are getting ready to handle the storm physically.  Make sure you get ready to handle the storm emotionally too.

Here are a few tips:

Get your kids away from the television.   That’s right, just turn it off.   By now, some children have already been watching hours and hours of storm forecasting. Each terrifying prediction, each scary video, and each worrisome analysis is taken as fact by children.  Children are literal thinkers.  Hearing and watching continual news hype is going to increase fear and create high levels of unneeded stress.  Go ahead and check the news yourself as needed away from your children, but keep the kids out of it, even if they seem like they are drawn to it.

Stay calm.  Your kids are going to take their cues from the adults around them.  Do what you need to get ready, but try your best to stay calm while you do the needed preparations. 

Do the preparations needed for your location, and then settle down and find something to take your mind off the hurricane.     

Maintain routine as best as possible.  Children thrive on routine.   Keep what routine you can in place for your children.   It will provide a needed sense of calm and help the whole family relax during a stressful time.   

Answer your child’s questions honestly, but with age appropriate information.  Depending on your child’s age, they may be asking for simple reassurance or more in-depth details.   Limit what you say to just answering the question asked.  Don’t overdo it.  Check in about the feeling behind the question as well.  Excessive questions may indicate your child is already highly stressed and seeking reassurance more than answers.  Most of all, children need to know they will be taken care of.   You can’t control the storm’s path, but you can control the path of information your child receives. 

Be positive.  Yes, we’re facing a major storm with potential nightmare like damage.  Keeping positive will go far towards helping your child avoid getting unnecessary nightmares or stress.  Children need the adults in their lives to be in charge.  You are in charge of keeping a positive atmosphere alive in your household during this stressful time.   Reassure your child that you have handled things as needed and will take care of them.

Encourage play as usual.  Play is the work of a child.  Encourage your children to play, laugh, and relax.  Get out some board games that don’t require electricity or batteries and play together.  Keep the atmosphere light and adventuresome.    

Take care of your teens too.  It’s not just small children or elementary age children that are impacted.  Teens will also benefit from being pulled away from the television, given reassurance, and encouraged to take their minds off the storm.  Let them help with preparations but let them also be kids who can relax because they have adults who are in charge.

Using the above tips will help your children and you come through the storm in a calmer place.  It will be better for all of you.

 

Patience is a virtue.  

“Plotless.” 
Browsing through descriptions of upcoming ballets came across this strange (to me) descriptor:  plotless.     What’s the difference between a ballet with plot and one without, I wondered?  Is a ballet without a plot as popular as one without?   Which one would most interest my daughter? 

Lots of things have plots—ballets, plays, books gardens.    Most often plot is used in a literary fashion to describe the events that make up a story and how they connect to one another.  Plot is also used as a verb, as in when we plot out a journey we plan to take.  I suppose one could take a plotless journey.   What would that look like?  But, could someone write a plotless book?

It got me thinking.  What about our lives?  Do our lives have plots?  Can someone live a plotless life?  Would someone want to live a plotless life?

 

I’ve never heard someone talk about their life plot,  but I’ve heard a lot about having goals or a plan for life.  Taking some literary liberties, I suppose you could roughly equate a life plot to a masterplan comprised of specific goals.  An author devotes considerable energy and time to develop a plot for a story.   How much effort are you putting in to developing the plot or master plan for your life? 

 

I’m writing this from 32,000 feet in the air sitting with a few hundred strangers.  Everyone is headed someplace.  Everyone around me has a life filled with people, places, and activities, including being on this plane with me.  Today my life plot intersects with the plot of the strangers around me.

When we have a masterplan for our life we benefit in many ways.

·         We figure out what is most important to us.

·         We gain clarity for how to go forward.

·         A plan keeps us accountable to ourselves, to others, and to our purpose.

·         A plan motivates, especially when we run into rough spots.

·         A plan can inspire us to go farther, climb higher, and be the best person we are capable of being.

When we have a masterplan, we have the structure to develop smaller plots or goals for life.  Consider, for example, what goals you have for various areas in your life—career, family, education, community, spiritual, or financial.  Consider also that life has various stages with each one requiring changes from the last—childhood, teens, young adult, middle and older adult.  All of these benefit from developing goals that fit into one’s masterplan for life.

When I was growing up my father always kept a small card with in his shirt pocket.  On it he wrote various goals.  He would regularly take it out, cross something out or add something.    The card was a small, but specific part of his masterplan.  If you looked at the cards, you could tell what was important to him, what he was capable of doing, what he enjoyed doing, and what responsibilities he had.  You could even tell how important his marriage was to him because on each and every card he always included this item:  “Kiss my wife.”

Here’s a great mnemonic for developing subplots goals for various
parts of life:

SMART

·         S  Specific or significant

·         M  Measurable or meaningful

·         A  Attainable or action oriented

·         R  Relevant or rewarding

·         T  Trackable or time bound

Back to the ballet.  I could see from the seat availability chart that the plotless ballet was still pretty popular.  I might even buy tickets and take my daughter.  I think we would enjoy it.

While I do believe it is important to have a plot for our lives, there’s something to be said for including plenty of spontaneity as well.   I think it can even be part of the plot, if you will.   Simply sitting back and enjoying the form of life itself has benefit.   After all, life is a gift.  And, life is good.  Make the best of yours.